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I'd love to go out with you, but the man on television told me to say
tuned.

This is the first numerical problem I ever did. It demonstrates the
power of computers:

Enter lots of data on calorie & nutritive content of foods. Instruct
the thing to maximize a function describing nutritive content, with a
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results are that one should eat each day:

1/2 chicken
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1 glass of skim milk
27 heads of lettuce.
-- Rev. Adrian Melott

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
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It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off
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The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is
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When he to whom one speaks does not understand, and he who speaks himself does not understand, that is metaphysics. by poker online

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of
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The great tragedy of Science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact. by online texas holdem

'Slapdash egoism’, Midgley says, ‘is not really a very puzzling phenomenon’. Nor, I suppose, is slapdash discussion (even in a reputable philosophical journal); but it is deplorable. by free poker online

Do not read this fortune under penalty of law.
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(Penal Code sec. 2.3.2 (II.a.))
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Can one be a saint if God does not exist? That is the only concrete problem I know of today. by roulette

Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; everything else is opinion. by online gambling

Self-consciousness exists in and for itself when, and by the fact that, it so exists for another; that is, it exists only in being acknowledged by free online poker

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The word 'revolution' is a word for which you kill, for which you die, for which you send the labouring masses to their death, but which does not possess any content. by poker games

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The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways -- I to die, and you to live. Which is better God only knows. by online poker

Socrates thought that if all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence every one must take an equal portion, most persons would be contented to take their own and depart. by free online poker

Happiness is the only sanction of life; where happiness fails, existence remains a mad and lamentable experiment. by free online poker

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Universal doubt cancels itself. by texas holdem poker

Nothing appears more surprising to those who consider human affairs with a philosophical eye, than the easiness with which the many are governed by the few. by free poker online

Everything is good when it leaves the hands of the Creator; everything degenerates in the hands of man. by poker online

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Fine day to throw a party. Throw him as far as you can.
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The Papacy is not other than the ghost of the deceased Roman empire, sitting crowned upon the grave thereof. by roulette

Begathon, n.:
A multi-day event on public television, used to raise money so
you won't have to watch commercials.
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Merely fact-minded sciences make merely fact-minded people.

As the brain changes are continuous, so do all these consciousnesses melt into each other like dissolving views. Properly they are but one protracted consciousness, one unbroken stream.

My first act of free will shall be to believe in free will.

Welcome thy neighbor into thy fallout shelter. He'll come in handy if
you run out of food.
-- Dean McLaughlin.
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Modern art touches a sore spot, or several sore spots, in the ordinary citizen of which he is totally unaware. The more irritated he becomes at modern art the more he betrays the fact that he himself, and his civilization, are implicated in what the artist shows him.

On earth there is nothing great but man. In man there is nothing great but mind.

Swipple's Rule of Order:
He who shouts the loudest has the floor.
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Insomnia can become a form of contemplation. You just lie there, inert, helpless, alone, in the dark, and let yourself be crushed by the inscrutable tyranny of time.

Committee, n.:
A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen
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Parkinson's Fourth Law:
The number of people in any working group tends to increase
regardless of the amount of work to be done.
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When I was a kid I said to my father one afternoon, Daddy, will you
take me to the zoo? He answered, If the zoo wants you let them come
and get you.
-- Jerry Lewis
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Since each person, as an individual, is the not-being of the other, it is never possible to eliminate non-understanding completely.

Please take note:
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We're deep into the holiday gift-giving season, as you can tell from
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you to purchase things, to the point where you want to slug him right
in his bowl full of jelly.
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I am here by the will of the people and I won't leave until I get my raincoat
back.
- a slogan of the anarchists in Richard Kadrey's "Metrophage"
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Lieberman's Law:
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
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If dolphins are so smart, why did Flipper work for television?
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Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London:
Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall
be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person
shall be deemed to be a cat.
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